I want my issues to fly out the window, so there will be nothing left except peace within my mind. I was reading today an a magazine the essence of a person's number. Which consists of the month you were born and the day you were born on. Well my number is 2, it said for the month of April, that the things I work hard for will pay off towards the end of the month. I hope those number astrological things are correct in some way shape or form.
So i have been in this certain sticky situation for the past 5 months. It involves a really close friend of mine and $300 dollars. I'm not one to name names, so for this certain post his name will be Bob. I lent Bob $300 dollars of my parents money about 5 months ago. When i put that $300 into his hand he said OK I will get this back to you. I agreed happily, believing he really would. Well, 5 months have now passed and I'm getting fed up, almost as much as my parents are. I mean it was not my money that I worked for, it was theirs that they worked hard for. It was extremely bad judgement on my part and I wish I could take everything back. My parents want to sue him, and at first I was scared because it might harm our friendship, but now I could care less about he feels. I mean he has had 5 months to pay it back and me nor my parents have even seen a penny. So I'm ready to file some legal papers and for him to bathe in the mess hes created among my family and among his stupid petty actions. This is another reason why guys are complete idiots. haha. My trust for them as a species just keeps going down the drain. haha. This is why I would like a violinist because it would fit perfectly when I hear him crying a river about all the money he is going to lose by this lawsuit.
Dreams, by definition are a series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. For the past week, I haven't been sleeping quite great, except for last night. I dreamt of living somewhere I've never even imagined. One image that I vividly remember is peeking through some shudders in an old house and just seeing flowers upon the horizon. I think this dream is trying to tell me I need a vacation. ahah. Only a couple more weeks til' Easter vacation, I'm anxious in anticipation. I'm praying I get my car by then. Fingers crossed everyone! Lately, Ive been painting and I keep starting new projects that i cant seem to finish. I tend to grow tired of my paintings after a days work. Seems like nothing even compares to the best one Ive done. But as an artist, I need to believe that I cant compete with that one particular piece, because that was a different idea and to me nothing will look or seem as good. This stupid artist block as I like to call it, is blocking my concentration on greater things to be painted ahead of me.
Is it fair that I get cut off from money from my parents at 16, while my brother still mooches off them at 25? And by MOOCH i mean that my parents pay for his education, gas bill, phone bill, taxes, car insurance, and etc. hmmm i wonder who's the favorite in the house. haha. So now its like a fer sure deal that I have to go out and get a job, what a bummer but it was bound to happen eventually. I want to see the far side of any mountain that ends up swallowing the sky. Or in other means, I want this tension in my family to disappear and go away for ever. I want the separation to begin already, one more year til I will be 18 so i can finally see that far side of the mountain. I want to speed through the valleys, leaving everything behind, with those bad memories behind me. Time seems to torture us. You can either want it to go by fast or you don't want what your living to go away. But we all know time doesn't care about what you want. It has no conscience nor emotions. So all we can do as a society is count our blessings everyday, cause if not than you just become a pretentious biased human salty being. haha. Is my point now central and remote in your mind?
Last night I experienced WATCHMEN. YES, it was fucking AMAZING! I have nothing bad to say about it, it was that good. I have to say it is 100x better than the dark knight. Everything about this movie was incredible, from dialogue to the infamous sex scenes, to the intense fight sequences. I now want to read the book and just awe in its glory. haha I probably sound like a big nerd right now. So, I give this movie like 1 million stars it was that great.
Life can be so beautiful, but they say without suffering there is no sincerity in beauty. True. As we get older, all our visions become blurred and we wonder how we got to where we are in life. We thank our parents, for making us the people we are today and having them shape and define us into well mannered human beings. Because for one, this world can get so crazy, with people with indifferent personalities talking about all they know, and those odd balls humming tunes you haven't heard in ages. haha. It's just the way the world works, the ball rolls, the flag swings, the drummer drums, and so forth, so no shame in suffering, as long it shows the true sincerity of beauty in life. So, I'm keeping my glasses on, because having my vision blurred leads to nothing.
I would kill to write for http://deathandtaxesmagazine.com/ this magazine. They really cover everything I am interested in. GAH my fantasies need to become reality.
